Should I seek counselling? Do I really need it?
Updated: Mar 9
Have you been thinking about seeking counselling and resisting the idea? There may be many reasons stopping you:
"I should be able to sort this out for myself, do I really need help? "
"I have friends and family to talk to."
"I feel too ashamed to admit I need help, people will think I'm weak."
"The counsellor will think I'm crazy if I tell them what's been going through my mind." "My worries aren't big enough to seek counselling, the counsellor will think I'm a time waster"
...and many, many more unhelpful thoughts in an attempt to talk yourself out of it.
These are all normal thoughts most people have; I hope I can lessen your fears by answering the questions above.
"I should be able to sort this out for myself, do I really need help?"
A lot of the time it is possible to 'sort things out' however, sometimes we can become so overwhelmed with a problem or fear that we go around in circles trying to reassure ourselves or asking others for reassurance, yet never finding a satisfactory answer.
"I have friends and family to talk to"
Friends/family can be a great support, but because they can't stand to see their friends or family suffering, it can result in a tendency to give advice and even passing judgement on the situation.
"what do you have to be anxious/depressed about?"
"you need to get a grip, there's much worse off than you"
These questions, although an attempt to shake the person out of their mood, can have the effect of creating shame and guilt about how they are feeling and the thought that they shouldn't be feeling like this. This may lead to feelings of isolation and a habit of keeping problems to ourselves....not good. The dam usually bursts at some point.
"I feel too ashamed to admit I need help, people will think I'm weak.
It most certainly is not a sign of weakness to seek help from an outside source, such as a counsellor. Admitting you want help is a sign that your problems and fears are about to overflow and that you have recognised your needs.
"The counsellor will think I'm crazy if I tell them what's been going through my mind."
Your counsellor will not think you are crazy. We have been trained to listen without judgement. You will be able to talk about whatever you want in confidence and without fear of being overheard.
"My worries aren't big enough to seek counselling, the counsellor will think I'm a time waster"
You may believe your problems aren't big enough, surely it's better to seek help early before things blow up and become unmanageable? As a counsellor I am always happy to listen to you however large or small your worries are.
Although the first session may feel awkward, after all, you are talking to a stranger about your deepest thoughts; as we build the counselling relationship it will feel more relaxed and natural to talk. Counselling is not an overnight cure, generally clients report feeling a lot lighter after their first session and are relieved they have made the first step.
In a nutshell, if any of what you've read resonates and you feel ready for change, why not send me a message or give me a call via the links on my website. For a free 15 minute chat contact me on 07415 014690 I may not be able to answer straight away, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I'm free.